Forgiveness is a powerful, but difficult process. It can take time to heal from the pain and anger that may come up when you are trying to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply.
Whether it’s an ex-spouse or someone who’s bullied you for years, forgiveness is not something that comes easy. When we’re hurting, we need compassion and empathy to help us through the process of forgiveness. In this blog post, we will be looking at ways to forgive someone who has hurted you so deeply.
Before we dive deep, let’s take a look at what the bible says about forgiving people that hurts us
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What does the bible say about forgiving those that hurt us so deeply
Matthew 6:14-15: “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Matthew 18:21-22: “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.'”
Mark 11:25 “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him , so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
Forgiveness is not a feeling – it’s the result of an intentional and deliberate act.
It doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing what has been done: forgiveness means we have released them from our bitterness to allow healing for ourselves as well.
Because vengeance belongs to God.
Psalm 94:20-23 “When you have been humbled, what good will your words do? For humiliation brings a person low and hardens their neck; it is like trying to carry a heavy load on one’s shoulder. But if you give yourself fully to the Lord, then he will honor you.”
The truth is we dont see what damage we do to ourselves when we choose not to forgive people who hurt us. The devil wins when you choose not to forgive, unforgiveness sows a seed of discord, while forgiveness can bring reconciliation.
It’s hard to forgive someone who hurt you deeply because of how it feels when they are around, but there is hope in the truth that God forgives us and we are called to love our enemies as well (Luke 23:34). It is a choice we make.
We have to decide if forgiveness is worth it and then choose to forgive or not.
The hurt doesn’t go away even when you do, but at least the resentment goes away from your heart which will lessen the pain in your life.
Forgiveness is what Christ commanded us to do, and it’s how we can show the world that God has changed our lives.”
How then do I forgive someone who hurts me so deeply or repeatedly?
1. Know what forgiveness is
A lot of people confuse forgiveness with forgetting. They think that because they forgive someone, they no longer feel hurt by them or the things they did to cause pain in their lives. That’s not true! Forgiveness is choosing to let go of resentment and bitterness towards another person for what he has done wrong against you so we can live a life free from hate.”
Forgiveness does not validate the offender’s behavior nor does it justify the action they keep committing, rather, it is choosing to let go of your right to get even and live a life free from anger.
2. Reflect on what they did:
It may be hard, but one of the most beneficial things we can do for ourselves during this time is reflect on how deep their actions went with us. What caused the hurt? How did they make you feel at the time and how do they still affect you now? Take a few minutes to write out your thoughts.
3. It’s time to forgive:
Forgiveness is a decision we make for ourselves courageous act that will allow us to live free from the burden of someone else’s wrongs against us.” To move on with our lives we must forgive those who have hurt us deeply.
4. “It’s all about YOU!
If forgiveness can be liberating then why not choose this route? Remember it’s all about you and the journey of forgiveness.
5. You have the power to forgive:
Remember, forgiveness is not something anyone can force you to do. It’s an act that requires courage on our part in decisions we make for ourselves.”Forgiveness is essentially agreeing with God about what needs forgiveness in someone else.
7. Talk to God about the situation:
Forgiveness is never an easy time to process what happened: The person who has hurt you so deeply may be someone you love, and it is not easy to let go of all the years they have been in our lives. As painful as forgiveness can feel at first, many benefits come with choosing this path.
” Forgiveness allows us to restore relationships; heal from pain and hurt; experience peace from anger, bitterness, resentment, or hostility; and find balance in life. The best thing to do when a person consistently hurts you is to talk to God about it because only he can give you the grace to be able to forgive
8. Take responsibility for the part you played
sometimes people unpleasantly react to us because of how badly we treat them. we do not see the ill-treatment we commit to these people until they begin to retaliate or respond in a hostile manner. If possible, practice some self-reflection as you work through forgiving someone who has hurt you deeply so that you can know what parts of your behavior might be affecting them. work towards change
9. Find the words
“I choose forgiveness. I release you and all your wrongs against me, whether they were intentional or not,”
10. Remember their good qualities
We must remind ourselves of what made us like them in the first place; this act can help us to strengthen our forgiveness.
11. Realize that they’re not perfect
We must remember that everyone is flawed and we shouldn’t expect perfection from them or ourselves, as this will lead us to disappointment when the expectations aren’t met.
12. Understand their perspective
As much as possible, try your best to see things through their eyes to understand the way they think and feel.
13. Take time for yourself
You mustn’t take on board everything too quickly or allow their actions to consume your life, which would lead you to become bitter and angry in return.
14. Talk about how you’re feeling
Sharing what we are going through with those close to us can help to make the process of forgiveness easier.
15. Set boundaries
You should establish boundaries and limits when working with someone who has hurt you deeply, as this will help to stop you from getting too close or taking it all in. While you think about taking this step, you must talk to God about the necessary steps you should take
16. Find a way to forgive them
The person who has hurt you may never know how much they have impacted your life but we mustn’t let their actions keep hurting us for years on end.
17. Pray for them
Another way to forgive those who hurt you deeply is to pray for them. This is a powerful way to release anger and hurt; it also helps you save face as forgiveness will come from God’s loving arms not your own
why should we forgive someone who hurts us repeatedly?
- forgiveness releases a burden: “When we are burdened with bitterness, regret, and anger towards another person for what he has done wrong against us, it is as if the weight of that resentment drags us down. The moment you choose to forgive is the moment you choose to be free from that weight. It is when we forgive those who have wronged us, that they are no longer able to hurt us.”
- Because you were forgiven: Christ forgave all our shortcomings and inadequacies and even though we forgave us, we still go astray sometimes. But He is still standing by us and waiting for us to come back.
- Forgiveness is an instruction by God: God knows humans are bound to step on each other toes, but He instructs us to forgive one another.
- You are not a victim: Not forgiving those who hurt you deeply makes you a victim of bitterness, unrest, and pain, letting go can help you find a sense of peace.
- Finally, Forgiveness is an act of love and faith. It doesn’t require that you trust the person who hurt you, but it does require that you choose to release your anger and resentment toward them for your heart to heal.
When we forgive someone, we set ourselves free from our own pain as well.
We become a better version of ourselves when we let go of past hurts by forgiving those who have wronged us deeply.
Remember how much hope there can be in the process if this forgiveness comes with prayer? Asking God for help transforms what could be just another painful experience into one where peace prevails instead. Let’s do all this together!
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