Is sex before marriage a sin? A lot of Christians out there sees nothing wrong with having sex outside of marriage. As a matter of fact, when this topic is raised amongst the contemporary church , you can loudly hear murmurings, and whisperings from the congregation.
But the truth is, that something is seen as normal does not validates that it is right.
God has His rule and perspective about sex, it is at our best disposal to follow him intently.
In this article, we will answer your question as to whether or not sex before marriage is sin, God’s design for sex, what the bible has to say about sex before marriage, and a lot more
Table of Contents
What is God’s design for sex?
God’s design for sex is for communion, intimacy, and oneness.
It is his desire that couples enjoy sex to the fullest. Sex brings togetherness, joy, and pleasure.
In God’s design, sex should only be practised within the confines of marriage. It is a seal of a covenant. Marriage is a symbol of Christ and his Church and the oneness they should explore.
Just as we can explore the fullness of God in Christ, it is also possible to explore the fullness of sex, be it oral, or whatever sex styles you prefer within the confines of marriage only.
Anything outside of this is an aberration to God’s original intent of sex which is to be between a man and a woman (Not a man and man, or a woman and woman).
As Christians, we should also know that marriage is a symbolism of Christ and his church. Every ideal Christian marriage should point non Christians to Christ.
Sadly, Most Christians don’t know that sex is meant to be explored and enjoyed,, and the Church hasn’t helped that much. The Church is either not talking about it, making Christians feel as if having and exploring sex is a bad thing, while the others that talk about it do so on a surface level.
Sex is meant to be pleasurable and explored under the confines of marriage.
When a husband and wife have sex in marriage, they are unified both in body, soul, and Spirit with God bearing them witness.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
Ephesians 5:25 NKJV
Take a look at the scripture above, my emphasis is on the part that says “he gave himself for her”
During sex, the man and the wife should release themselves, exploring together, the beauty of sex, necessary precautions and adjustment should be made, if given.
In addition to this, there is nothing like safe sex outside of marriage. Marriage made sex safe and valid.
is sex a sin according to the bible?
No, sex is not a sin, it is not evil, what makes it a sin, is when it is explored outside marriage. A boundary was placed by God on sex and that boundary can only be lifted in marriage.
Sex in a Christian marriage communicates worship, pleasure, and unity. God is pleased.
Will I be forgiven, if I have had sex outside marriage?
One beautiful thing about Christ death is that it forgave us of past sins, and future sins.
If you have had sex before marriage, and have realised that it is wrong to do so, what you should do is to simply ask for forgiveness, and make deliberate steps not to go back to it anymore.
If you and your partner are Christians, both parties have to be on the same page, your fiance or fiancee must share similar perspective about sex being a sin and deliberate steps must be taken to curb the act.
It’s not going to be easy, but it is worth it.
what does the bible say about sex before marriage
While the bible does not categorically term sex before marriage a sin, there are a lot of scriptures that addresses sexual immorality.
Sexual immorality can be defined as an illegal sexual intercourse, and we have specified that the only institution that makes sex legal is marriage. Sex is a state where both partners release each other completely withholding nothing for the sake of oneness.
Lets have a look at what the bible says
Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.
I Corinthians 6:18-20 NKJV
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality;
Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
I Corinthians 7:2 NKJV
that you abstain from things offered to idols, from blood, from things strangled, and from sexual immorality. If you keep yourselves from these, you will do well. Farewell.
Acts 15:29 NKJV
Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness,
Galatians 5:19 NKJV
How can I stay sexually pure?
The enemy is always on the watch for you to loose guard, it is your duty to not loose guard, or take chances.
How can we stay sexually pure?
1. Have an agreement with your partner
If you are in a relationship, you need to come to an agreement with your partner on abstinence, it is going to be a failed mission if one of the partners do not agree with whether or not sex before marriage is sin.
Both partners should have the same belief or perspective on the subject matter.
Let me warn that there are days that the weather will be cozy, hormones will be high, but God and self control will see you through.
2. Set boundaries
Setting boundaries is one of the ways to guard against sexual immorality. You and your partner should set some boundaries, you should also set some personal boundaries for yourself. know when to visit your partner, how far is too far, know when to stop.
This boundaries will help guard against the fiery days. Some ladies have high sexual libido during ovulation, I do not know if there are some cozy days like that for the guys. Boundaries should be set for days like these.
Read: How to set Christian boundaries
3. Be accountable to someone
Having a mentor to guard you in your sexual purity journey is one of the best ways to be accountable.
your mentor should be a matured, spiritual person (one who follows Christ) and who is also a die hard fan of sexual purity.
Being accountable to someone isn’t fun cause you would have to report to the person when you cross the line.
But the amazing thing about being accountable is that it keeps you on guard and also helps you stick around your sexual purity goals.
4. Have Godly friends
Another way to stay committed on your sexual purity goals is to surround yourself with friends that have similar perspective as yours. This makes your sexual purity journey an easy one.
Having friends that negate your believe and perspective on sexual purity can make the entire journey burdensome for you.
Need tips on how to find Godly friends? Click here
Is sex outside marriage same as fornication?
fornication is a consensual sex between a male and female that are not married to each other. So we won’t be wrong to call sex outside marriage fornication. Because both are practiced outside the confines of marriage.
What are the consequences of sex before marriage
There are several consequences that comes with having sex before marriage and I will make a list of them below:
- It causes comparison: Comparison amongst previous sex partners is bound to happen especially when the sex in your marriage isnt as good as the previous sex escapades you have had. This could be detrimental to your marriage, this is why sex before marriage isn’t ideal. Keeping yourself chaste won’t give the room for comparison.
- Emotional bonds are created: There is this emotional tie that comes with having premarital sex, you become deeply connected to someone you have had sex with, this is why it is necessary to guard your heart diligently.
- It leads to another sin: Premarital sex leads to lies, in the process of trying to cover up your sin from your spouse, partner or parent, lies is inevitable. Why not avoid the stigma sex before marriage brings
- it can lead to pregnancy and STDs: can you handle the psychological effect of owning a baby out of wedlock, or having an incurable disease like an STI. All these can be prevented by staying celibate, and sexually pure.
- God is not pleased: Sex was designed by God to happen within the confines of marriage, anything outside of this is Sin and disobedience. Disobedience is exalting your own opinion above God’s. When God says that he is displeased about something and you disobey that instruction, that is rebellion. It isn’t okay.
Finally, Sexual purity is more than abstinence from sex, we have Virgins that are not sexually pure, they are involved in sex chats, pornography and a lot more.
The fight is not only for abstinence, its also for sexual purity. The truth is that sexual thoughts will always come to mind, what we do with those thoughts is what matters.
We hope this article has helped in explaining why sex before marriage is sin and how you can overcome sexual temptations?
Have any suggestion, kindly hit the comment section.
